The Statistics and Causes of Divorce

It’s easy to be cynical about marriage. We’re inundated with divorce every day through the people we work with, the relationships we cultivate, and the celebrity gossip we try to ignore but can’t escape.

Divorce is prevalent, even when discussing impending nuptials. As a good part of the preparations involve considering what will happen if the marriage fails. And inevitably, when marriage is brought up, someone will mention the age-old statistic that half of marriages end in divorce.

But just how reliable is that statistic?

Till Death Do Us Part?

In the United States, the average marriage lasts just eight years. We can break down even further, with some states having a divorce rate of 50-65%, others falling somewhere between 15% and 39%.

That said, the divorce rate has been steadily falling over the last few years. In 2019, it hit a 50 year low, and despite the pandemic. Lockdown-related stress ended up not having the impact on the modern marriage that was predicted. In fact, it fell by 12% in America.

Still, the old stat that half of all marriages end in divorce proves to be more or less accurate. While the divorce rate has declined in the last few years, the marriage rate has as well. Couples are choosing to cohabitate rather than exchange vows.

And if couples do decide to get married, they’re doing so later in life than generations past. As of 2021, the median age for a first wedding among women in the US was 28.6 years; for a man, 30.6 years.

Causes of Divorce

Marriage is something that most couples go into with optimism that they won’t be a statistic. They’re not thinking about the odds or the fact that the average marriage lasts only eight years.

So with all this optimism and hope for a long life lived together, what makes a couple go from “I do” to “I don’t?”

According to Divorce.com, the most common causes of divorce are:

• Constant conflict
• Lack of commitment
• Infidelity
• Lack of intimacy (physical or emotional)
• Communication problems
• Domestic violence
• Opposing values
• Addiction
• Absence of romantic intimacy/love
• Lack of equality between household chores/responsibilities
• Financial problems/debt
• Marrying too young
• Lack of shared interests/incompatibility

Who Files for Divorce?

Divorce, even uncontested divorce, can be expensive. And more often than not, women end up taking the brunt of the financial hit. Even so, in heterosexual marriages, it is much more likely in the United States for a woman to file for divorce than a man.

A lot of this is a reflection of shifting social expectations. Romantic relationships in the 21st century are less likely to carry the power imbalance prevalent throughout most of history. Women today can earn more and are “less willing to sacrifice their own happiness and well-being just to make their romantic partner happy,” according to Psychology Today.

Remarriages and Divorce

We all love a good comeback story. Sadly, being divorced once increases your odds of divorce should you get married again. In fact, 67% of second marriages will end in divorce. Couples who enter second marriages often do so with more emotional baggage than they did their first marriage, adding onto the obstacles all couples face.

If the odds are stacked against you creating a lasting marriage after one divorce, it’s even more bleak after two, with a whopping 74% of third marriages also failing.

So what’s the takeaway here?

Marriage is complicated, easy to get wrong, and can be difficult to make work. However, it is important to consider the other sides of those statistics. For every first marriage that fails, there’s another one that doesn’t. For every couple that calls it quits within the first decade, others go on to have their Golden Anniversary.

Just like marriage itself, divorce can be an emotionally challenging, stressful endeavor, and not one anyone should face alone. No matter how simple or how complex, if you and your spouse are in complete agreement or if you have decisions to make, the attorneys at HK&R Law Office can help you navigate the ins and outs of divorce. Give our offices a call and schedule a consultation.